Married Women Happiest in a Blend of Modern and Traditional
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Married Women Happiest in a Blend of Modern and Traditional by Wendy Cloyd, assistant editor Study reveals mutual commitment, fair division of chores, plus emotional and financial support equal contentment. Bradford Wilcox, Ph.D. The level of marital happiness experienced by women is highest when the marriage is a mix of both conventional and contemporary ideals, according to a landmark study by two professors of sociology at the University of Virginia. Bradford Wilcox and Steven Nock interviewed more than 5,000 married women across the U.S. to learn more about the basis for their happiness. Topping the list, a husband's emotional engagement is the biggest predictor of his wife's marital happiness — far outweighing other factors such as who does the cooking and cleaning. And contrary to many modern publications that say splitting everything from income to chores 50-50 is the way to a successful marriage, Wilcox said they found women who don't work outside the home are happier. "And women whose husbands earn the lion's share of income are happier," he said. "That's true even for couples who are both in the work force." Women also want to feel that household chores are fairly divided, he said, but what's deemed "fair" is not necessarily 50-50. "It's a subjective perception," he said, "related to the wife's sense that her husband is making a valuable contribution to the family, both his paid work as well as the things he does with the kids, as well as housework and whatever else the family needs to get by." Wives who share regular church attendance and a strong commitment to a lifelong marriage with their spouse are most likely to report marital bliss, as well. "The shared idea that the marriage should only be ended under extreme circumstances — in other words people who are opposed to divorce and committed to lifelong marriage — it is related to security and trust," he said. One of the most surprising finds was that even women who consider themselves more feminist-minded are happier when their marriage includes more traditional roles. "They are happier when their husbands are the primary breadwinners, when they share church attendance, and when they share a strong normative commitment to marriage," Wilcox said. "So, it's interesting that even people that, in a sense, 'talk left' are happier when they 'walk right' when it comes to their marriages." Wilcox said a lot of people are surprised that neo-traditional women are happier. "I use the term 'neo-traditional' just basically to signal that there are elements of the new and the old in a happy marriage for women," he said. "The new is that there's focus on the husband being emotional, and that wives think things are fair in their marriage. The old is that wives who have a husband who makes more than two-thirds of the income, who shares church attendance and who shares a strong normative commitment to marriage are remarkably more happy in their marriages than women who do not have all three of those elements."
