All the lonely people
A new study has found that Americans are becoming increasingly isolated and alone. One out of four of us has NO ONE with whom to discuss personal troubles.
That is double the number since 1985. Back then, people could name three people in their closest circle of friends. Now, that circle has dropped to two. Only 8% have a neighbor they can confide in. Increasingly, one's spouse is the only confidant. And, of course, many people don't have a spouse, or are fighting with their spouse.
Americans were growing MORE socially connected up until the 1960's, and the various indexes of social isolation have been going down ever since. What do you think causes this? What might churches do, both for their own isolated members and for all those lonely people? Or could it be they just want to be left alone?
I was contemplating this yesterday. I remember all the "relationships" I built when I was younger. I thought that by using the infant Internet interfaces Multi-User-Dungeons, Bulletin Board Systems, Internet Relay Chat, electronic mail, Gopher, and other means I could build interpersonal relationships. I remember going to a couple "meetings" of people I thought I knew well via these means and being utterly shocked at how much I DIDN'T know them.
A couple weeks ago there was a news report about a girl who tricked her parents into letting her fly to Israel to meet an older man she had met through her MySpace website. Everyone seemed shocked she would do it. Maybe in light of the stats Dr. Veith posted this isn't so shocking.
All of our new technology that supposedly provides more means to "stay in touch" may be doing the exact opposite. They allow us to sit in our underwear in front of a screen or with a cell phone and develop relationships, yes, but relatively shallow ones. As I experienced many years ago, the impression given by this mono-sensory communication means provides two-dimensional representations of the real people.
I have heard ramblings throughout the blogosphere about blogs, email, websites being a reasonable substitute for personal contact. At the most these provide additional means of contact. Our ability to effectively communicate via these means are not an effective substitute for human contact.
When it comes to the ministry, the same effect applies. Can we expect to provide reasonable counseling via electronic communication? I don't think so. Without a multi-sensory approach where we can use body language and vocal inflection I don't think we can get the point across. So electronic communication is not the means to overcome the isolation of the parish. No, real, human contact is the means. Yet another reason God made the church of people and not just ideas. He uses the voice of his pastors and priests to communicate his Word effectively. Print and internet are no substitute and can only at best supplement.
